My main question is this: how do I let go of a name I LOVE, but my husband has vetoed?
We are Jewish and it is traditional to name children after deceased relatives. My grandpa Irv passed away when I was in college so I have always known I wanted to name my child after him.
My husband has a long, challenging Germanic last name, so I want a short, easy name.
Enter the name Ivy. It is literally perfect. Short, spunky, not too common, timeless. But my husband hates it. I can't let it go. I compare every name to it!
Other names we have tried:
ILANA – pretty, but worry about people saying eye-Lana not ah-Lana. Also looks a bit like llama …
IRIS - like it but don't love it
ISLA – popular, plus my husband alwayssays iss-la
We also like Scarlett, Penelope, Violet, Quinn, Talia, Sara, and Zoey, but they don’t fit all of the criteria.
Can you help me find a name I love as much as Ivy?
Maybe it even feels a little unfair for your husband to veto Ivy. After all, he agreed to honor this beloved man, knowing that Irv is a fairly finite set of letters and sounds.
But let’s assume that Ivy is well and truly off the table and we need to find another I name.
In the short term, it’s possible that no name will quite measure up. The best cure might be time – as you know and love your daughter, your affection for her name will grow, too. But I also think that remembering your priority – to honor your grandfather – will make any name special.
Iris would’ve been my suggestion. It’s short and compact, an easy nature name with history, but still quite stylish today.
I share your hesitation about Ilana. I’m pronouncing it more like Alana, but I can imagine you’ll hear a lot of sounds.
Would you choose Isla if only it weren’t so popular? As of 2019, Isla ranked Number 57, not too far ahead of Ivy at Number 68. So maybe it’s not really too common to use.
Overall, I think Iris and Isla from your original list deserve another look. But I can imagine Ida and Ingrid wearing well, too. In fact, I think Ida could be exactly right – a vintage namethat’s under-the-radar but feels ready for revival.
Readers, please hop on over to the forums to talk about a name to honor granpda Irv that's every bit as great as Ivy!
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Abby Sandel is the creator of the baby name blog Appellation Mountain and mom to Alex and Clio.
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