There’s a lively discussion going on over at our message boards on what names have gone out of style and will probably never come back. On the permanent Out List, by consensus, are:
BERTHA
BEULAH
BRUNHILDA (was this ever in, I mean since the 11th century?)
CLORIS
DORCAS
DORIS
EUNICE
GAY
HESTER
HILDA
HORTENSE — Enjoys the shortest entry in The Baby Name Bible: “No.”
IRMA
RHODA
SELMA
VERNA
boys
CLETUS
DWAYNE (This reminds me of a very funny line from the Pioneer Woman: “I didn’t even know his name; I just hoped it wasn’t Dwayne.”)
EBENEZER
HORTON
HUBERT
LEROY
MORRIS
NORBERT
WILBUR
We’re with you so far, name lovers, and can even understand why you disagree on whether some choices belong on the Out-Forever List. One person sees Gertrude as cute, like little Drew Barrymore in ET, while another says it reminds her forever of the word girdle. Myrtle is fresh and flower-like to one visitor, terminally dowdy to another. And Grover is adorable to one message boardie, doomed to Sesame Street purgatory by another.
And Linda! ?! Let’s not even go there.
We’ve learned the hard way that there are very few names you can categorically declare out of style forever. Today’s Shirley — terminally dated name — is tomorrow’s Ida or Arthur: born-again hottie.
Here some names that we once declared dead forever (or forever-ish) only to see them rise again.
girls
AUGUSTA
ESTELLE
ESTHER
FLORENCE
FRIEDA
IDA
LENORE
MILDRED
MURIEL
PEARL
VERA
ZELDA
boys
BERNARD
EDGAR
EDWIN
ERNEST
FRANKLIN
HARVEY
JULIUS
MARTIN
RAYMOND
VICTOR
VINCENT
WARREN
WOLFGANG
Are there any besides the ones already identified by the message board devotees that we’d still call as out forever? Gladys. Myrna. Phyllis, Shirley, Wanda. Arnold and Dewey, Egbert and Elmer, Hyman and Melvin. Which I guess pretty much guarantees that they’ll come back into style any day now.