If you were to go solely by the tabloids, you might think that every celebrity’s baby boy was given the name of a New York borough or a Disney character or was his parents’ quirky Scrabble-letter invention.

　　Au contraire.

　　There is a very  healthy segment of show biz parents who are creating a major backlash to this trend–either that or they just like conservative, classic names.  Instead of screaming ‘Hey-look-at-me!’ (and my mama), these names  provide a sort of protective coating against that kind of often mocking attention, a layer of dignity and tradition.

　　Evidence?  Here, just looking at boys born since the Millenium, are some of the timeless classics, in their complete, traditional forms, that have been recent celebrity choices–not that they always succeeded in making their bearers paparazzi-proof.  (And, by the way, I’d be  interested to know if you think the preference for this kind of name relates to the celeb’s own personal or public image.)

　　ALEXANDER — Naomi Watts & Liev Schreiber, Lauren Holly, Wolfgang Puck

　　CHARLES — Russell Crowe, Chris O’Donnell, Cynthia Nixon, Emily Robison

　　CHRISTIAN — Marc Anthony, Pete Sampras

　　CHRISTOPHER — Chris O’Donnell

　　DAVID — Mo’Nique, J. K. Rowling

　　FRANK — Diana Krall & Elvis Costello

　　FREDERICK — Mayim Bialik

　　GEORGE — Kristin Scott-Thomas, Eva Herzigova

　　HARRY — David Letterman

　　HENRY — Heidi Klum & Seal, Julia Roberts, Emily Robison, Rachel Weisz, Jack White & Karen Elson, Minnie Driver, Norah O’Donnell, Steve Zahn

　　JACK — Matt Lauer, Joan London

　　JAMES — Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick, Isaac Hanson, Colin Farrell, Kirk Cameron & Chelsea Noble

　　JOHN — Bono, Vanessa Paradis & Johnny Depp, Bridget Moynahan & Tom Brady, Julie Bowen, Nancy Grace, Lauryn Hill & Rohan Marley

　　JOSEPH — Tracy Lords, Cathy Moriarity

　　SAMUEL — Naomi Watts & Liev Schreiber, Jack Black, Elizabeth Vargas

　　THOMAS — Jack Black, Dennis Quaid

　　WILLIAM — Kimberly Williams & Brad Paisley, Mary Louise Parker & Billy Cruddup, Clay Walker

　　In addition–though it’s not quite the same thing–there are the nickname versions, like Kate Winslet’s Joe and Charlie Sheen’s Bob, and the not-so-timeless semi-classics like Rainn Wilson’s Walter. And of course, there are the female equivalents–Amanda Peet’s Frances, Kelly Martin’s Margaret–but that’s for another time.